Peer Workshop (7/14): Content and Style Revisions

1.   What stands out about the thesis statement's language?

• Would you like them to add or subtract details?
• Would you suggest they switch out a word or revise a phrase to be less general?

2. What type of information about the Orlando shooting and how this poem connects would you like to have more of in this essay's next draft?

• Phrase your critique as questions and/or answers. 

3. Does the author use signal phrases to clarify source information?

4. Look at the analysis (or absent analysis!) of the poem.

• Are there enough lines or images used? 
• Suggest another piece of evidence (or more) that you feel can be used to help support their claim.  
• Do this for at least two paragraphs.

•  What other phrases/terms/ideas do you think the writer should integrate into discussing these poems?  Suggest a world (a specific analytical word, a term that you think of that they seem to be pushing towards but is on the tip of his or her's essay draft's tongue!)

• Think about our  analysis discussion yesterday--how we came up with different terms to use based on our looking at the quotes.

5. Creative Language Advice: Praise them for attempts at engaging language, or encourage them to take more risks with figures of speech or whatever you think will stick.